Talking of being eaten by dogs, there’s a dachshund at Brinkley who when you first meet him will give you the impression that he plans to convert you into a light snack between his regular meals. Pay no attention. It’s all eyewash. His belligerent attitude is simply—"

Sound and fury signifying nothing, sir?"

That’s it. Pure swank. A few civil words, and he will be grappling you . . . What’s the expression I’ve heard you use?"

Grappling me to his soul with hoops of steel, sir?"

In the first two minutes. He wouldn’t hurt a fly, but he has to put up a front because his name’s Poppet. One can readily appreciate that when a dog hears himself addressed day in and day out as Poppet, he feels he must throw his weight about. Is self-respect demands it."

Precisely, sir."

You’ll like Poppet. Nice dog. Wears his ears inside out. Why do dachshunds wear their ears inside out?"

I could not say, sir."

Nor me. I’ve often wondered.

Autor: P.G. Wodehouse