The book “Little Women,” what, is that about midgets? I freaking love midgets.

“I’m such an alcoholic that I go to church just for communion.”

“I can’t afford to waste either my money or my time—but that doesn’t stop me fro…”

“I sleep on the coasts of my bed, but I make love in the Midwest.”

“I had to quit my taxi cab driving job because I had no way to get to work. The …”