The couch was wide enough for two, but I sat in it alone. Was I obese in body—or skinny in love?

“Love one person at a time, that’s the motto I’ll try to get my clones to live b…”

“I once got a handjob from a glove. I miss the 80s.”

“A blanket could be used to lure politicians to your side of an issue. Which is …”

“I’m tired of calling @PapaJohns. I wish they’d call me for once. I’m starting t…”