The cycle of parental disapproval begins at dawn. That’s why I have to get up five minutes before sunrise, so I can berate my grandpa like he was my own child.

“I have hair on my chest. And it’s purring.”

“The only thing better than word of mouth is words of mouth. Give me at least tw…”

“A brick could be used as a Blushometer. To find out how embarrassed you are, ju…”

“On my wedding night, I want to make slow, passionate rush hour to my wife at we…”