The difference between you and everyone else, is everyone else. And that’s a lot, so you should feel special.

“Due to state laws, the restaurant was nonsmoking, which as a nonsmoker pleases …”

“After I speak, my words merge with the wind, and if you’re listening, your ears…”

“If I were to hold up a bank with my index finger and my thumb as the “gun,” the…”

“In a battle, an army of farts would surely beat an army of noses, even if those…”