The earliest I’ve ever been late is on time.

“Life: Don’t count the minutes, count your blessings.”

“The only French I know is a kiss. I studied a lot of that foreign tongue in hig…”

“Women love to talk. I'll bet Van Gogh had a woman. And I'll bet she talked his …”

“I knew a woman named Hope once, and boy did she fill me with her first name.”