The first week of school they spotted him using a tortoise-shell cigarette holder. When he'd overheard some of the boys whispering that he looked like a queer he'd gazed down his long nose at them and said he regarded that as a compliment since so many of the world's great men had been homosexual.
Alas I've been sentenced to a life of mundane heterosexuality. I can only hope a few of you will be more fortunate.

Autor: Susan Elizabeth Phillips