The French aren’t birthed; they’re hatched out of eggs. That’s why they make the best omelets.

“I own a few yawns that I rent out to people who are tired of the sleazy snooze …”

“Baby toys were left at my door. Either someone’s trying to get my attention, or…”

“Not only did I not join, but now I can’t quit. I’m a nonmember for life.”

“If you try a joke a second time and nobody laughs, don’t tell a different joke—…”