The future is right around the corner from a bar called, “Yesterdays.” I know, I work there every tomorrow.

“Some people talk nonstop and manage to say nothing at all. Other people are mor…”

“If I can just find my wife’s foot under the covers, I know everything will be O…”

“I need camouflage that works in such a way that when I wear it, you disappear.”

“A brick would make a great stocking stuffer at Christmas—especially if you chis…”