The house I grew up in is one of a kind. It’s a bibliophile’s fantasy, and if the Library of Congress had a little brother who was a midget, you could find him residing in my parents’ house.

“What does it matter if you can speak two or more languages if you have nothing …”

“I want eyebrows shaped like pinball swatters, and to accompany that I’ll get a …”

“There’s this girl who’s obsessed with me. I would tell you what she looks like,…”

“I always thought I’d make a great backup singer. I don’t practice. It’s just pu…”