The idea of a blind date scares me. But a deaf date would be great.

“Do you know a man better than me?” I asked her. “Yes,” she replied. “Great,” I …”

“Who needs a thermometer? That’s what my nipples are for.”

“You know cats, always scratching on this or that, but never scratching what you…”

“If you drive the same car as me, and have been in a fender bender, I’ll think, …”