The indignity of having to wear suntan lotion pales in comparison to getting skin cancer.

“I loved her like elephants like remembering stuff. Those bastards just won’t le…”

“Sexcess—it’s about sex in excess and success all rolled up into one sweaty ball.”

“A haunted house could be used like a Band-Aid to stop a bleeding brick. But why…”

“I just quit the Please Police. No need to say Thank You or protest or start a r…”