The Italians say “Chow.” To them it means “Bye,” but to me it means food. Of the greetings, goodbye is the desert.

“I got fat, and I decided to do something about it, so I got fatter.”

“A brick could be used as a stamp on a letter, to increase the weight and boost …”

“A brick could be laid on a blanket, so the blanket doesn’t blow away. But why w…”

“I don’t endorse my checks, because what, am I just going to give away free auto…”