The last time somebody pointed out that cowboys ride horses, not tricycles, I shot him. Of course, I waited until another gunslinger gunned him down, but nevertheless, I still shot him.

“I’ve got a pocket full of cash, and a condom full of erection.”

“Three people are interviewing for a job. The first thinks his odds are 33.3 per…”

“I drew a portrait of an invisible man on a nice canvas, because that's all you …”

“Kill all the prisoners, because they’re costing us too much money. Wait! No, ki…”