The man with two plungers for hands never wipes his ass, but he also never clogs up a toilet either.

“I’m one washing machine away from throwing in the towel. But I’m not a quitter.…”

“Sharks are so stupid. They swam right up to the boat, and they couldn’t even te…”

“I’m the most expensive person in my life. Every day I pay for the poor decision…”

“If you insist on digging for the truth, you can start at the cemetery. But not …”