The mobster came by my establishment and said I needed protection. “Nope,” I replied, “I’ve already got protection.” Then I showed him how I wear a rubber glove over my penis, with my shaft sliding perfectly in the pinky finger slot.

“A pastor, a politician, and a brick walk into a bar, and the bartender says, “S…”

“I’m so silent I can hardly hear myself think. But that’s why I bought the sciss…”

“I would let you ride shotgun, but first I’ll need to reload.”

“A brick is used to label a missed shot in basketball. However, a better term to…”