The morning always has a way of creeping up on me and peeking in my bedroom windows. The sunrise is such a pervert.

“I want to name one of my kids “I’ll-Have-A-Large-Cheeseburger.” That way, when …”

“My two parents represent the single greatest influence on my life. And if my da…”

“Three people are interviewing for a job. The first thinks his odds are 33.3 per…”

“The birds bark my name, and I meow theirs in return. I may be a bit mixed up ab…”