The mountains are where God proves He’s better than Michelangelo at sculpting.

“I don’t collect awards, I collect empty trophy cases. Once my collection is lar…”

“The best time to complain is right after you’ve come up with a solution to the …”

“If I were to hold up a bank with my index finger and my thumb as the “gun,” the…”

“Experience is the best teacher I've ever had. I'm sorry, Mr. Sortz, but it's tr…”