The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me.

“Hospitality is about welcoming you with open arms, and an outstretched erection…”

“I’m a door-to-door salesman. I sell doors. If I can’t knock on yours, because y…”

“I gathered all my eggs in one basket, because I believe in collectivism, and I …”

“Too bad Americans can’t export Awesome, because I have boxes and boxes of the s…”