The only other man I’d let see my wife’s naked body is the butcher.

“Black clothing makes me look skinnier. If I wear all black at night, and turn o…”

“Opportunity seldom rises with blood pressure.”

“A brick could be used to get a new job. Hire me! I have a brick, and I’m not af…”

“I can’t marry a bisexual woman, because she might be having an affair with the …”