The only reason I didn’t feel like a complete fool was because the failure left me feeling incomplete.

“She had an ass behind her that went on for days. In fact, I’m still talking abo…”

“I want to move to a ghost town and try to sell the population bodies to dwell i…”

“When I wear my confessional glove it’s super tempting to give myself a velvet h…”

“Why do old people drive slow? They have the least amount of time left on earth,…”