The proper response to “I love you” is never “what, when, where, why, and how,” no matter how sincerely you say it.

“His name is Randy Randy. Or maybe it’s Randy Randy. I always get his first and …”

“I want to grow a Loyalty Beard, to prove my commitment to my favorite shaving c…”

“Algebra is numbers forgetting why they’re letters.”

“She had two lips like strawberries, and the seeds gave her kisses texture. I pr…”