The state of North Carolina, Daisy, and John Wayne walked into a bar, and I shouted, “Duke!” and the bartender threw me out, because he was a Chapel Hill fan, and I was drunk.

“A brick on a stick could be licked like a lollipop.
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“Sure, I pee in the pool. But that’s only because I don’t have a sink big enough…”

“I think a great book title would be “Ida Says ‘I do’ in Idaho.” It would be abo…”

“As she walked away she said Thank you. “Thank you,” I replied. I don’t think sh…”