The tire left a skid mark on the road that looked like a mustache. So I shaved it off the pavement, stuffed it in my trunk, and took it home to wear to work the next day. Ah, but that’s life, no?

“I can draw like it’s nobody’s business. I use my door as a canvas, so don’t kno…”

“Learn body language so you can not only speak it, but misspeak it too.”

“I inherited my independence from my parents.”

“When I go out to eat at restaurants, I don’t like chains. I prefer whips.”