The ultimate gift is the gift of life. Please, accept this jug of semen as a present from me to you. And don’t worry about sharing—I’ve got another one for your mother.

“I’m a natural salesman. I sold my soul to the devil. I’m so shrewd that I got p…”

“My name is Dawn. It’s not a female name. I am Sunset’s brother.”

“I watch basketball like I watch baseball: I don’t. I’d much rather watch grass …”

“People used to tell me that when I smile I really warm up the room. Well, the m…”