The zipper on my crotch is an air vent. I need some way to cool down my hot coffee.

“If we’re friends, I’m only the funniest guy you know because you don’t know Joh…”

“My name is Meow. At least that’s what my cat calls me. But you can call me afte…”

“You know what really chokes me up? Being strangled.”

“I needed to take her to a concert, or maybe invite her out to go stencil street…”