There is a hole in my buttocks. I’d like to return it, or at the very least exchange it for a new one.

“I lit my loneliness on fire like it was a cigarette. But I didn’t smoke it, bec…”

“Jarod Kintz Day—it’s not just my birthday, but it should be a holiday that’s ma…”

“When I describe love to an emotional Helen Keller, I usually say it has four le…”

“My father is half man, half Zeus. That makes me one quarter fake God. But that'…”