There is one tree in Gainesville I call "Grandfather" because it looks like a giant Bonsai tree. Well, that and I actually thought it was my mother's father for the longest time.

“Love should last a lifetime. But not the lifetime of a giant tortoise. More lik…”

“I can’t marry a bisexual woman, because she might be having an affair with the …”

“She said, “You disgust me. How do you live with yourself?” So I said, “Like I l…”

“I believe that guns offer the most bang for the buck.”