There’s this girl who’s obsessed with me. I would tell you what she looks like, but she’s transparent. But I will tell you that she does have a sexy voice.

“A blanket could be used to protect your heart from heartbreak. Keep your heart …”

“Some people use laughter as a weapon. It's all very funny until someone loses a…”

“Being vulgar to be funny is a crutch, and I prefer wheelchairs.”

“This book is destined to make waves no matter which ocean you throw it into. Th…”