This is America. Every vote counts. Sometimes twice, if it helps me get elected.

“I consider seeing my 30th birthday an accomplishment. You know, not many midget…”

“My ex girlfriend was exquisite, and my current one is quisite.”

“I was driving to another girl’s house who’s not my girl, and I saw a red sign b…”

“A brick could be fired out of a cannon, in an attempt to bring down a brick wal…”