Today I am doing better than yesterday, and tomorrow I hope to be doing better than I am today. And two days from now? Well, that’s a Monday, so I’ll be feeling shitty.

“My dreams and ambitions kept me company on the way there, and despair and regre…”

“I can throw an orange like a baseball, but I can’t eat a baseball like an orang…”

“I buy black clothes, so I can hide behind my shadow.”

“Toilet bowl basins need to be deeper, because every time I sit down my penis cl…”