Trying to put a baby back in the womb is like trying to convert a butterfly into a caterpillar, but still I’ve got to try. That’s what being in love is all about.

“I put a saddle on my salad, and I rode my horseradish to Rhode Island, where I …”

“I used to drive a parking lot, and I’d always park it directly under somebody’s…”

“Too much coffee has been spilled in the name of war. Let us love and savor ever…”

“A cake for all is not a celebration of one. Cupcakes are the ultimate birthday …”