Trying to resist my love is like trying to hold back a tsunami with a surfboard. My advice is to take up boogie boarding.

“I do every other every other. That’s how thoroughly unthorough I am.”

“If one unlabeled bottle holds nonfat milk, what does the second unlabeled bottl…”

“The door of love is squeaky. Would you mind oiling it on your way out?”

“I could be the man of your dreams. I could also be the alarm clock, stealing yo…”