We made love like a John and a hooker, despite the fact that my name’s Jarod. Ah, but that’s life, no?

“Agatha’s older than I was when I was her age.”

“My penis isn’t big. It just appeared that way because the midget’s hands were s…”

“If I could sleep with any literary character, I’d love to sleep with The Cat in…”

“The reason I make things so complicated is simple: Because I like being the unc…”