What I’m doing is not doing anything, and I’m doing a half-ass job.

“A brick could be used to bring about a pantsless revolution. A zipper is just a…”

“I want instant coffee at the snap of my fingers that gives me more energy than …”

“She called and said she had to cancel tomorrow. “Cancel tomorrow!” I shrieked. …”

“The US has the highest incarceration rate in the world. I don’t want to release…”