What is the greatest mystery of the universe? The answer is brick. Or is it blanket? I forget which one.

“A counterfeit is a knock off. A cat’s tail swiping a knickknack placed perilous…”

“I stepped on a banana spider today. I didn't crush it, but I did slip and fall.…”

“Dinner is served. It’s chicken lo mein. Oh and by the way, your cat is missing.”

“Before I make you boss, I want to tattoo “Assistant” around your asshole.”