What you’d call stealing, I’d call a mistake. Or, if I were a politician, I’d call it an opportunity, and my privilege.

“I enjoy reading books by way of subtitles from the movies they got made into.”

“I am terrified of heights, sharks, and spiders, so I am not into skydiving, sur…”

“I want to eat rabbit stew out of an empty turtle shell.”

“I’m single, like a cheese slice individually wrapped in plastic.”