When I burp I’m not just pushing polluted air into the world—no, I’m espousing my belief on the true nature of politicians.

“For most Americans, money and calories are always on their minds, although they…”

“Save money on kids by volume. Deal in bulk and have dozens of kids.”

“I think the most heavenly food is fluffy white clouds.”

“With the woman I loved, I wouldn’t change one second with her. No, I’d change a…”