When I didn’t know him I punched him in the face. The best part about him is his nose.

“I’m a door-to-door salesman. I sell doors. If I can’t knock on yours, because y…”

“If my name were Entist, I’d probably be a dentist. If my name were Dennis, I’d …”

“I would consider myself a regular at my favorite bar, but there’s nothing norma…”

“I lost a little weight over the weekend. I cut my fingernails.”