When I first heard Twilight was a book about vampires that sparkled in the light and shape shifters/wolves eager to assist the vampires, I thought, Finally, a metaphorical book dealing with politicians and lobbyists.

“Love should be unconditional, while hair should be conditioned. Air should also…”

“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.”

“I’ll let you see the door is open, so you know I’m open to the idea that you ca…”

“I used to date an older obese woman named Ten, but everyone just called her "X"…”