When I go house hunting, I use a rather large gun. You should see me fish for the best tasting Starbucks coffee. Oh, and can I borrow your plunger?

“I left the door open so you could come in—and I could go out. That’s what being…”

“My sheets are so white they look like Google’s homepage. They even have a touch…”

“I want to direct a movie called “Sleep” that’s sure to put everybody to the tit…”

“A wife is a friend first, a lover second, and third and probably most important…”