When I hear your name, I involuntarily clench my butt cheeks. Is that love? I don’t know—I’m not Nicholas Sparks.


“His first name is Brooks, but his last name isn’t. His last name is Wrinkled, u…”

“There were 17 people at the funeral. 16 of them were there for a family reunion…”

“A blanket could be used to fly interdimensionally. My penis is a wormhole.
”

“She had breasts that sagged to her knees. But that's ok, because when it got co…”