When I saw a murder taking place, I almost didn’t have time to make coffee before stopping it. But thank God I did, because otherwise somebody would have died—and even worse, I’d be tired.

“Walking on the beach like a ventriloquist, I’ll make it sound like the ocean is…”

“Stop a drunk driver and you stop a murderer—even if he hasn’t killed anyone yet…”

“Know yourself better than your opponent knows you, know your opponent better th…”

“God gave man two ears and one penis hole for a reason. I’m not sure what that r…”