When I smile, not only do my ears rise, but so does my listening ability. When my mouth goes all Helen Keller, you know I heard you.

“Courage is a vitamin best swallowed with whiskey.”

“A brick could be used as a replacement for an erection. Hey, I did it in the ea…”

“I like to switch things up by keeping things the same. People never expect it.”

“Robots don’t make better lovers, but Roberts do.”