When I told her my love would stop her tears from falling, she started laughing. She laughed so hard she started crying. Damn. Double damn!

“My motto: I’ll do it today, or tomorrow, or the next day, or not.”

“My favorite color on canvas is nudity.”

“I’m not a king, but you can call me His Royal Hoorayness. If you did that, I’d …”

“I make love like I sell sausages to strange women. One at a time, and always co…”