When it comes to Schopenhauer, I think I need a To-Go box.

“Fornication: Do it for the kids. Just not at their birthday parties.”

“The headline read, Man Saves Child From Burning House, and I just have to ask: …”

“Sexy is fine. So is OK.”

“The zipper on my crotch is an air vent. I need some way to cool down my hot cof…”