When my coffee is gone, so is my motivation.

“I have three step brothers and one step sister. It’s like a staircase, and I am…”

“I would answer the door for the pizza delivery guy wearing my birthday suit, bu…”

“The last time somebody pointed out that cowboys ride horses, not tricycles, I s…”

“I had a Chinese girlfriend once who asked me how much she meant to me. I knew v…”