When my ex girlfriend left, I was crushed. Why’d she have to drive off in a steamroller?

“You can tell a lot about a person's character by how they do life's menial task…”

“I wonder if rooms in an insane asylum have Do Not Disturb signs for the doors. …”

“I’m not going to catch any fish in the forest using a steak knife as bait. Stil…”

“If I had a half, I’d split it in half and share it with you. That’s love. Then …”