When my internal voice goes external, and I’m in a noisy crowd, I can hardly hear myself think.

“Necessity is the mother of invention. She’s also my mother, though Invention an…”

“If I were a paper pusher for a living, I’d be pissed if my coworkers moved my d…”

“In a relationship, I’m committed to giving her 100% of 50%.”

“A brick and a blanket walk into a bar. And I don’t drink, so I wasn’t around to…”