When the lights are about to burn out and start flickering, it’s like I’m blinking without blinking.

“Drought is the best thing that ever happened to my lawn. And my beard.”

“Bricks could be used to make a billion dollars. It’s easy! All you need to do i…”

“I put the choir in kissing. Too bad there’s no sing in fornicating. But that do…”

“At the gun range I can’t hit the paper bull’s eye, no matter how carefully I ai…”